DOING THE WORK: DAY FORTY THREE WHAT IS YOUR PURPOSE?

I was told when I left university back in 2000 that I would pursue close to over 10 different types of careers in my life before its all over. It surely isnt like the generations before mine where men and women committed to a lifestyle career where there job was truly part of their WHOLE life. There are career service men/women, police officers, fireman, stockbrokers, teachers, and even mechanics, but NOT ME. There has been so many decisions made in my life BY ME, that has driven/taken me to ALL corners of the EARTH. Will I ever be a CAREER MAN? Was also asked this question last year; "What is the longest thing in your life that you have done the most." Yoga-7.5 years, Drinking 16+ years (4 years sobriety Feb 18, 2008), Traveling- 28+years, Vegan 4+ months, WHAT IS YOUR PURPOSE 42 days.....Attending Sporting Events 33+ years....It is a real shocker to think back, recollect, and truly understand where you have been, where you wanted to go, what you decided to pursue, and what you have ended up doing? Is this all a waste of time to remember and dwell upon? Can I learn from my mistakes? Can I take my life experiences and put them forth towards a valuable career in a world that will be accepting/welcoming and have faith in all that I want to give, teach, guide, and share. There are times I wished I did that, or didn't do that, or turned that way, or even just got out and left, but NO NO NO I live life with NO REGRETS..seriously NONE, can't dwell on anything I have no power to change. All I can do is gather up ALL that I have TODAY, and hope deep down that what I choose and do is going to contribute to the honest well being of who I want to become. I AM SO SO OVERWHELMED, UP&DOWN, so want to get closure, so want to write, sing, travel, make sweet love, provide a living environment for myself where I can feel oh so GREAT about MYSELF. What is exactly that balance? Is it on the road? How can I establish MY OWN HOUSE? Sacrifices, taking risks, celebrating my gifts, and allowing to continue to be open, but I MUST and WILL put my feet down and COMMIT to something. When, Where, How, Why, Who....am I supposed to be a journalist with those questions; international sports travel show host, producer of entertainment, creator/choreographer of touring bands, founder of international cultural development/wellness center, or WHAT? I am so filled up, so I have to keep letting go, push through, BE ME, and THIS YEAR (pressure pressure) create a strong firm plan and FOLLOW IT.....My state of mind as I write/listen is in NEW YORK (Billy Joel style)....love the Hudson River Valley...had a home base in the San Fernando Valley for 20 years....BUT PLEASE have to get control of my enormous brain and tame its racing running buzzing. Feel like a puppy sometimes with such a low attention span, completely out of control, shy/fearful, but so loving determined and capable of anything my heart desires. I am not tied down to anything. NADA. That is an amazing gift. No real ties, but also quite sad; due to my age? I am 35... I should be doing what? Have what? Who decides that? WOW where I go from here? Back to my cabin in Wimberley, Texas with my ambition to change the world and my abilities to TRULY DO IT.....Not conceded just confident to TRANSFORM....where should I begin? 'Deep Breath' just me and the running dishwasher and glowing lamp in front of me...oh and the awaiting ALMOST full moon and some Dippers in the sky up above on Little Bend Rd. I want to hug...tree & Me my only options as I have to go pee in the bushes or on a tree? Ciao- RVB

UNDER PRESSURE: DAY FORTY TWO WHAT IS YOUR PURPOSE?

Ever since I discovered the importance of being proactive and getting to the cause root of all that IS (w/the gudiance of practicing Kabbalah) I have come to realize that much of my stress and frustration is due to the constant/consistent expectations/guilt and pressure I put upon myself. I have a very repetitive inner-dialogue that goes in circles where somedays I have the energy to slow down, and others days just put it off for TOMORROW. A lot of this time I spend feeling BLUE with my ongoing non-action/undecisive way of life where I find myself lost, running away from my fears, and wasting days on things that just bring me down, drain my energy, and deprive the world of my vast potential. This past year with Maum Meditation and my yoga practice, I have developed a stronger peace of mind that is calm, focused, and completely aware of the urgency in my life to get my act on course. What is different from before when I felt this immediate desire to take hold of my life, is that I am more open, full of Light and with a determined strength that I completely believe in. I have to put a lot of the things that I started and did not finish behind me, and focus on the steps of what I want to accomplish, and not just go out there with a vision with no organization/follow through. I keep continuing bringing up my poor skills of following through and creating results. That WILL STOP since its a must for my success. There is a WAY FOR ME to reach my potential NO DOUBT, what exactly is that WAY. What road/path will I choose? Will that choice be the right one? Should I just leave it up to the Light\God\Spirit to guide me to paradise? There is so much I can do, give, believe in, and accomplish. I am filled with enormous gifts that WILL make a global impact. Is that too much pressure to put on myself having a clear magical beautiful vision where I will celebrate my passions by sharing them with others, while allowing them to discover there own. I believe I truly have to prioritize, plan, and use that plan to make a life for myself. Years have gone by as ideas have stayed idle; films, tv shows, books, projects....where do I begin? Deep down I desire a good reliable quality successful loyal mentor that is a billionaire that can stand by my side, feel/fuel my vision, and make a difference out there. How do you deal with your self pressure? What tactics do you take to face it and make the best of it? I feel pressured by my lack of asking questions as time builds up in me not speaking up, and opportunities passing by. I have to overcome these discomforted times and just reach out. There has been way too many times in my life where I stay quiet and just pass time. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO NNNNNNNNNNNNNNOOOOOO please please please. Cant do this anymore. No mas por favore.....When I feel to say something and desire an answer I got to take a stand. Today I let one go by here down in Texas as I am here for my Vision Quest and have to get some answers concerning getting permission/discussing if I can film down here and share my experience within my film. Hours/days/opportunities of great footage has passed me by and I always come up with an excuse, "Oh I can do it that way, and get footage there, or do it this way..." as wonderful shots/images disappear. This is a year for being strong and following my intuition of things I believeare right for this project. Please reach out and provide feedback/encouragement and tell me how you are feeling, how you overcome your inner dialogue, making sure you are rewarded with ALL that you desire. I am excited and very grateful today. Full of wonderful loving inspired energy that keeps me going. Just have to continue this way of celebrating, speak up, and take the action I feel will benefit all that I want to do in my life. RVB 

GETTING GROUNDED: DAY FORTY ONE WHAT IS YOUR PURPOSE?

Do you have your two feet solid with confidence moving forward knowing what direction you are traveling off to in a world that feels promising and fulfilling? How do you choose happiness in your life? What creates a smile in your heart? How does that smile feel deep within? When I smile and share I glisten & gleam with Light and a fuzziness that makes me smile even more. It is a wonderful reality of having the capability to sigh with gracious joy and say thank you to all that I adore and encounter. I have made huge strides with the transformation of my mental focus and energy throughout my day. I am so much more lighter physcially, mentally, emotionally, and know I have the power of ME and all that I desire to do and explore. I can breathe with an amazing flow that is so loving and wonderful. I am here each day praising and pleasing speaking of beauty and making an impact, but it has been a long windy road where sacrifices have been met, obstacles broken down, and a committed awareness/coolness that I stroll with pride. There is still a long long road ahead that thrives for my attention and follow through. I feel as though I am on icy ground, with gripped shoes, but still on a tough patch of ice that has me going here and there cracking on the way sending me doubt and ongoing distraction. The more and more I focus on letting go, making decisions, standing up to my fears, the more I feel closer to that grounded life I so desire to live. Even though I am a true explorer, I do desire some consistency in my life that I can depend on, and build a life that is full of abundance. There are some key elements that I have to take a stand with in order to reach the begining of becoming a strong grounded man in a society that will allow me to shine. I have to decide where I want to LIVE, what exactly do I want to pursue for a CAREER, and where do I BEGIN. I have to continue to throw away my ego, don't take anything personally, play it cool, respect myself, good diet/sleep, lots of fresh air/water, and wake up each day with a DOING attitude facing my inner demons and just be ME with complete freedom. I know I put a lot of pressure on myself. I learn from idleness, surrender that everything will turn out for the best, and continue to bring newness into my soul. How attached are you to our shady Earth? Does it's soul hold you close? Do you spend time to dig and discover from the inside? This journey of mine here this year is ALL about focusing on YOU. You have to understand what brings you the Light, what provides you hope, and who can give you the support you can always count on. Surround your life with a complete goodness. From the moment you wake up, to the time you call it a night. Focus on being more patient, change up your routine, and lead with a calmness that you can smoothly move through your day. LEAD yourself on a path that makes you feel good about yourself. A place that brings wholeness and a sense of peace that will lead YOU. Love to you- RVB

DISTANT YOUTH: DAY FORTY WHAT IS YOUR PURPOSE?

Do you remember when you were first introduced with the feeling of being a kid in this world of ongoing challenges, crisis, and collaborations? Due to my roller coaster here and there, up and down youth, I recall that life has always been a heavy emotional ride. Overanalyzing, under estimating, self pressure, doubt, dishonesty, running away, and ineffective communication that was downright sad and difficult to LET GO. I would have to say that I never really felt like a true kid. You know that innocent, lovely, out in the neighborhood celebrating type of feeling where you feel WHOLE. I inherited a set of circumstances that I had to face and overcome. I should reach out more with the help of others, but can HONESTLY write today that I have made sensational amounts of progress and WILL always be a kid at heart with a loving, welcoming, free spirit who loves to listen/learn, be warm, and be your pal. I don’t feel sorry for myself, I don’t play the victim role, and I am proud of all that I have seen, explored, and created. What scares me the most and I desire to put a stop to it YESTERDAY is the lifestyle and choices our YOUTH are dealt with all over the world. I was brought up in a loving respectful environment filled with questions answered and an ALWAYS understanding there is ALWAYS someone that I can count on. Currently there is complete chaotic turmoil. No more neighborhood/community and sense of unity. Where has the voice of our youth gone? Have you heard it recently? Through our music influences, means of communication, daily diet, education system, and global knowledge, all these CHOICES have created a youth that is hunched over (change of posture) texting, give 3-word max responses with a tone of voiced shocked by our grandparents’ generation that fought wars, survived Great Depression, and understood what it took to raise a family. Too many babies having babies and more babies creating a never ending baby belly that is bigger then their boobies. Too much chips, soda, fast food, sleep deprivation, and not enough challenging elements that build up brain power to continue leading this world into the next generations. These are youth that will be running the world sooner than I want to believe. A sense of entitlement, ME ME ME, NO NO NO, WHY NOT WHY NOT WHY NOT. No living to give, selfish, self-centered days filled with packs of kids not talking with bangs over their eyes mumbling eating crap dehydrated with a sorry attitude holes, YES HOLES in ears and metal in lips…good luck running anything; race, job, family, the world; where you will be respected, listened to, and be given faith. SPEAK UP , STAND UP, LOOK UP, DRINK WATER, BE YOURSELF. Someone has to take a stand to reach out and give some guidance, open up the gates of awareness towards these lost souls. Set examples of how to treat one another with a respect and an understanding that can allow some positive progress put into play amoungst our stretched out circles. What has to be focused on is priorities, passions and gifts that are young youth possesses. How can someone like myself who has the desire to help and share, create the welcoming vibe into those circles and WAKE UP our distant youth? Have vision to create a motivational speaking circuit, or follow through with the opening of the Exploration Center- international cultural development/welness center, or just hit the streets and seek there? There is a long long road ahead to take back our world and get it back on course. There must be hope re-established, trust instilled, and an agreeable/welcoming plan that can be celebrated. Where shall we begin? Who's first? Who's next? Who wants in? What kind of style shall be used? I am so so so overdue people, how do you feel about coming on board? We all have to come together with common goals united with desiring youth and begin the rest of our NEW LIFE moving forward.- RVB

FREEDOM AIR: DAY THIRTY NINE WHAT IS YOUR PURPOSE?

It has been close to 8 years since I began my practice of yoga and boy have I grown transforming with an awareness that is near my heart/soul TODAY. I was living in Burbank at the time and was just gifted for Christmas a 24-Hour Fitness gym membership from my mama. When I was playing football years before, before each game the whole team would line up 7 wide 7 deep and we would stretch. Half way through our routine we would partner to assist one another stretching our necks and legs. My partner was Mr. Limber Himself our Knights quarterback Rob Fry. I was always so envy of flexibility, and asked him once how he became such the bendy one. Rob responded, “Each morning and each night I stretch on my back in bed.” Yes the bed does take the pressure off and provides some leniency. So years later, I decided to be proactive and conquer my years of living in a stiff not so limber world and seek out the spiritual art of yoga. I rode my bike from Burbank to Glendale early Saturday morning for a 12:00 class taught by David. If you have never been in a yoga class it can be quite intimidating observing everyone warming up, taking their bodies to places you never knew existed, but I was eager to get through the class and see where this journey would take me that calm open day. Remember this was my first time EVER witnessing yoga. I had absolutely NO EXPECTATIONS, NO UNDERSTANDING, and never knew exactly the power of the breath. It was an amazing life changing releasing experience. Just recently discovered David’s last name is COX who still teaches his marital arts style yoga on Saturdays same place same time (True Consistent Commitment). He has created a practice where you can really push yourself, make progress, sweat, work your core, legs and back. You leave a little after 1pm ready to conquer your day completely opened up, sore no doubt, but it is that gracious THANK YOU SO MUCH SORE. Nowadays so much of our days are spent bottled up in front of this device I write/share with you today, or receiving the nonsense news of the world on our televisions or just sitting around the house wondering how wonderful the Wonders of the World would be oh so wonderful in the wonderment of our minds. I know when I was a child I was an inside outside kind of kid riding my bike exploring around town in and out of neighbor pools, running around the outdoor local mall, and inside with Nintendo & dreaming at the Big Newporter movie theatre.  NOW that inside outside life has changed for our youth. It is more like stay up WAY past your bedtime playing video games of Instant Messaging with Facebook on the computer, sleep in late, and then spend the rest of the day doing the same thing that made them stay up so late the day before. Our world is so vast and beautiful. The Earth is filled with natural beauties, loving animals, endless seas, busy city streets, quaint countryside, and a vibrant free flowing air-filled energy that can uplift your soul and brighten your smile. There are few issues here of why our global lifestyle has changed. The main one is FEAR; the fear of the unknown, the fear of getting hurt, the fear of change, the fear of commitment, fear of responsibility, the fear of newness. Other issues include influences, communication styles, self-respect, diet, closed mindedness, work ethic, and so many more. Currently it is a sad sad mad mad world that is spiraling downward into places and crisis that has depleted our souls into worlds creating false hope/illusions truly ruining minds, communities, and our Earth. There were times in my life I was leading a repetitive, dragging, poor-ol-me, type of lifestyle. I even started getting a perma-frown on my face. Seriously wrinkles around my mouth heading south. I used to smoke, use drugs and alcohol, judge people (improving that), and have an unpredictable reactive temper. With the help of some beautiful people in my life, and so much self commitment/education/letting go and realizing that my mind body, soul, and heart are sacred entities. My gifts that lie within in me are waiting to be celebrated by the world, I decided to vow to lead a sober life (4 years), join the vegan way of living (4+mos) live to love & give, and smile more with a more proactive positive outlook on my path. I am outside as much as I can. I am an explorer with a loving caring heart that thrives to teach, uplift, and motivate others to seek and soar the open road, roaring seas, and truly discover the beauty the world has to offer. Get closer to the Earth, and understand the power of your actions and WORD. Bring light in the world of others since the more Light your Liberate in Their Lives the More Light You Will Receive. Keep on Breathing with Good Intentions- RVB

IN THE CLOUDS: DAY THIRTY EIGHT WHAT IS YOUR PURPOSE?

40,000 feet here with all of you listening to the Sounds of Yosemite heading Southeast from California to hill country Texas for my third year of celebrating a Vision Quest  on the Red Road. I am calm, peaceful, filled with an energy that I believe will conquer the world in my own loving unique way. I lead a daily committed life that leads me to thoughts of pure joy, laughter, welling tears, and a mind-set that is always challenging and uplifting. I struggle each day to stay on course, release the self pressure and just LET BE. I have to listen to my inner thoughts/intentions throughout MY DAY, take my alone time, reflect, and take the actions that I believe will support me along MY WAY. There are more energizing days then the draining ones since everyday is a NEW DAY. I am building my self-confidence/esteem into a world that I feel at ease with pride and satisfaction. I am laying the foundation for a glorious future, in hope of whatever arrives; I will have the openness/awareness to choose happiness and make effective decisions resulting in the motivation/inspiration of others.  I still doubt myself at times, less and less though since I vowed this year to follow through with all of you. I have done my best to not be so hard on myself, utilize my time wisely, and stray away from all the distractions in my life. There is just SO much I want to accomplish and share with the world. I want to write, speak, play, make love, travel, sail, swim, and become a grounded loving man that strides with pride tall surrounded with timber that is strong, firm, withstanding anything in its way. Our gracious skies high up above sun beaming down and around our land we call home bring so much hope. It takes my creative curiosity to places that get me anxiously antsy as my ADD accepts its vast opportunities with racing adrenaline with here and there focus and follow through. Where will you be in a year? Will you be with the same job waking up in the same bed with the same lady/man? It is just a general question of contemplation of progress and where life will lead you from NOW until THEN. I DO more when I focus on the NOW and don’t get down wasting time thinking about things that I have NO POWER OVER as of NOW. Especially life of regret dwelling on mistakes or decisions quickly made. I HAVE NO REGRETS. I know we can plan, prioritize, and persevere for our futures, but make sure your STYLE is with a DAILY focus with actions that are attainable allowing you to accomplish and then move forward. I have to practice what I preach, DO WHAT I SAY. I am dealt with a mind that is constantly on the move with dreaming big picture energy that drives me all over the place. I go from here to there with innovative ideas, but with NO RESULTS that create complete satisfaction. Too much time painting this ideal picture of a LIFE of FORTUNE, FAME and GLORY without taking the steps to lead up to those desires. I have to commit and focus on a group of realistic elements that can lead/build a lifestyle that will celebrate all my gifts.  Stop being UP IN THE CLOUDS, get down & dirty with all that you are, and succeed by consistently following through with dedication, an understanding vision with your LOVING HEART- RVB 

RESTFUL THINKING: DAY THIRTY SEVEN WHAT IS YOUR PURPOSE?

Where do you enjoy laying your head down? How do you provide yourself peaceful relaxation? Do you create time in your day where you just let go and rest? What kind of sleeper are you? I sleep through earthquakes and once I am down and out I am in for the taking. What I do struggle with though is getting into my bed. Always find a way to do more what ever it may be right before bedtime. Not the best habit. Just exactly what I am doing now. Playing Catch Up After Hours. We are part of a society especially living here in Southern California, where it is always GO GO GO, DO DO DO, but its just like chewing. The slower you ingest and take your time enjoying, the more goodness/awareness you receive. Take your time, look around, feel your environment, ask questions, feed your curiosities, tap into your right brain, organize freely, and allow yourself to open up and be free of judgement (give all chances) and ego. Life I believe is so much more enjoyable and rewarding if you can self-educate yourself in some way. If you want to learn an instrument, build something from scratch, or cook a meal, then what is stopping your actions of reaching completion of that desire? Do what ever it takes to fulfill your passions. Plan, prioritize, practice, execute, and enjoy all that you pursue. Restrict and then react with a visionary focus on exactly where you want to go, and the style you will use to approach. Remember though be open minded with NO tunnel vision, but with an optical view finder that is clear and wide so that you will allow yourself to keep all facets of your life open and ready to conquer respectfully. There will be times in your life where you will want to give in, go fast without thinking, and not give a damn anymore, but recall on the times when you do find the time to analyze all the options, discover the total cost of something, and truly make the best decision you believe in, and remember how that feels. Shake your head, take a deep breath, stand tall, and STRIVE ONWARD with a clear confident classy style of making the most effective efficient decisions that will bring you the best results. Have fun and Keep in Touch- RVB