FAMILY TIME: DAY ONE HUNDRED TWENTY FOUR WHAT IS YOUR PURPOSE?

It is draining at times to recollect (not too long as I am not a dwelling type of soul), but deep down probably for the best, not remembering a day in my life when my parents were together. There might be some slides from the late 70s that will show the fact, but nothing ingrained in my head. Since my siblings were older when my mom decided to get off the mountain in Lake Arrowhead, a decision well respected always, they would have memories of us being WHOLE. Never a sense of abandonment. NO WAAAAY. There are situations in life where people have to choose for the sake of themselves. Decisions that include the progress of hope for a brighter future, peace of mind, and ability to live freely and receive the respect one deserves. Therefore throughout my life of being a child of divorce I have been given the best piece of advice from my mama, that one should focus on BALANCE. Yes, how do we conquer balance in our lives? What does it entail? How much complexity do we desire to welcome into our arena? What actions of letting go/overcoming do we engage in? Who and what do we embrace to support our quest? Through this advice I have struggled to create my core sense of balance in my daily life. I would say I live on a roller coaster track of up and down, loopy loop, fast corner taken there, with sudden stops and drops along the way. All my own path with my decisions, sacrifices, fears, and inabilities that I have molded into my world. Definitely not truly fulfilling. Always have the desire to improve through education, imagination, and YES I'll say it again mama, exploration. This time now I have been focusing on establishing this sense of balance that I want to achieve. I have an understanding of my physical health, but have to put in more disciplined effort with consistency. My mental health is a test of time where I have started ADD meds, and working through the new energy I receive from them. I am getting involved and putting more time in analyzing a more detailed career path and making commitments with others that I have faith in that will continue encouraging me to follow through. I believe I am in a huge imbalance within my living environment and the organization of my finances. Money ALWAYS flows and it will ALWAYS continue no doubt, but once I can get established independently, in a space that is free, full of breeze, Light and nearby water with minimal possessions cluttering me, I can be flow on a  career path that is stable, ongoing, and vibrant. Then there I will continue to battle the emotions, pressure, and anxious anxiety of transforming. All the amazing potential is there, just have to continue understanding who I am, and follow a plan of how and where I want to continue my life. With both my parents,  I have always made the effort to spend time with them, learn from their experiences, and share our family love. With my siblings our time, energy, and sharing is scarce and scary, but don't enjoy the situation. I don't prioritize to face the feelings. It's not as bad as I think, but we are who we have decided to be, we do what we choose to do, and have to deal with the results. Focus on the positive, cherish times spent when finding the time to get together, and reach out/ask for help when we can (which is never). We here on Earth all have a story, I have the power to create a legacy, and will continue molding my vision into what I believe is good for all that I love and for the glory of me RVB