PRESSURE PRESSURE: DAY EIGHTY EIGHT WHAT IS YOUR PURPOSE?

Within a day where ever you may be there are so many options of what one puts their energy towards. You can go there this way and do that, or you can decide not to do that and do this instead that way, or even you can do this and that, while doing that and this and at the same time be preparing for all that lies ahead. Time management is a huge challenge for many of US. Yes me people I truly struggle with focusing and prioritizing my time in a self-worthy manner where I feel completely satisfied and fulfilled. With time management follows also what you spend your time doing, how you do it, and if/when you accomplish what you start. This is an even bigger and frustrating task for me as I am a wonderful starter, but horrific finisher. With this type of talk discussing frustration and something horrible I truly put a lot of pressure on myself which causes a lot of self-guilt which results in bringing me down, and eventually disables my motivation and energy TO DO. I live a roller coaster life that is getting quite old. Like a Coney Island roller coaster, Collosus at Magic Mountain. My time is way over due to hone in on my craft and choose what ever path I decide to go forth on. Follow my passions (PICK ONE or can I do it ALL?) in music sports & film and celebrate my potential and gifts. If I choose the path of international development cultural center creator which involves all my passions, will my self pressure decrease and allow me to be more confident with myself? Will I be more peaceful and comfortable with my visionary path? What do I have to do to start this vision? Will changing my living environment, getting a car, and being on my own be a good start? Is this BIG DREAMING PICTURE world for me? Can I a surrender to the Maum Meditation life and live a secluded life in peace with them and ONE/TRUE with the UNIVERSE. Its a true struggle for me; energy, motivation, past guilt of feeling failure of not following through,. perspective, diet, daily living environment, the travel grind, instability, insecurity, DO I HAVE TO LET IT ALL GO TO BE LET FREE.... as I get older the pressure continues YES, I have made peace with somethings but pursuing this film project I feel I am living the same way in a sense...not working at anything major...can I follow through with this....I have committed and vowed YES to create a FINAL PRODUCT.....will I allow my distractions once again to prevail...can I afford to do that again? In the life and mind of RVB.....have to get serious soon....will I make it in enough time? Its a must..I will...Love2You- RVB