DOING THE WORK: DAY FORTY THREE WHAT IS YOUR PURPOSE?

I was told when I left university back in 2000 that I would pursue close to over 10 different types of careers in my life before its all over. It surely isnt like the generations before mine where men and women committed to a lifestyle career where there job was truly part of their WHOLE life. There are career service men/women, police officers, fireman, stockbrokers, teachers, and even mechanics, but NOT ME. There has been so many decisions made in my life BY ME, that has driven/taken me to ALL corners of the EARTH. Will I ever be a CAREER MAN? Was also asked this question last year; "What is the longest thing in your life that you have done the most." Yoga-7.5 years, Drinking 16+ years (4 years sobriety Feb 18, 2008), Traveling- 28+years, Vegan 4+ months, WHAT IS YOUR PURPOSE 42 days.....Attending Sporting Events 33+ years....It is a real shocker to think back, recollect, and truly understand where you have been, where you wanted to go, what you decided to pursue, and what you have ended up doing? Is this all a waste of time to remember and dwell upon? Can I learn from my mistakes? Can I take my life experiences and put them forth towards a valuable career in a world that will be accepting/welcoming and have faith in all that I want to give, teach, guide, and share. There are times I wished I did that, or didn't do that, or turned that way, or even just got out and left, but NO NO NO I live life with NO REGRETS..seriously NONE, can't dwell on anything I have no power to change. All I can do is gather up ALL that I have TODAY, and hope deep down that what I choose and do is going to contribute to the honest well being of who I want to become. I AM SO SO OVERWHELMED, UP&DOWN, so want to get closure, so want to write, sing, travel, make sweet love, provide a living environment for myself where I can feel oh so GREAT about MYSELF. What is exactly that balance? Is it on the road? How can I establish MY OWN HOUSE? Sacrifices, taking risks, celebrating my gifts, and allowing to continue to be open, but I MUST and WILL put my feet down and COMMIT to something. When, Where, How, Why, Who....am I supposed to be a journalist with those questions; international sports travel show host, producer of entertainment, creator/choreographer of touring bands, founder of international cultural development/wellness center, or WHAT? I am so filled up, so I have to keep letting go, push through, BE ME, and THIS YEAR (pressure pressure) create a strong firm plan and FOLLOW IT.....My state of mind as I write/listen is in NEW YORK (Billy Joel style)....love the Hudson River Valley...had a home base in the San Fernando Valley for 20 years....BUT PLEASE have to get control of my enormous brain and tame its racing running buzzing. Feel like a puppy sometimes with such a low attention span, completely out of control, shy/fearful, but so loving determined and capable of anything my heart desires. I am not tied down to anything. NADA. That is an amazing gift. No real ties, but also quite sad; due to my age? I am 35... I should be doing what? Have what? Who decides that? WOW where I go from here? Back to my cabin in Wimberley, Texas with my ambition to change the world and my abilities to TRULY DO IT.....Not conceded just confident to TRANSFORM....where should I begin? 'Deep Breath' just me and the running dishwasher and glowing lamp in front of me...oh and the awaiting ALMOST full moon and some Dippers in the sky up above on Little Bend Rd. I want to hug...tree & Me my only options as I have to go pee in the bushes or on a tree? Ciao- RVB