THE INNER PRESSURE: DAY FIFTY SEVEN WHAT IS YOUR PURPOSE?

Where do your influences lie? How do allow them to influence you? Can you live and survive with the influences you lay with as you say goodnight or good bye in your day? There are so many distractions and ways to be thrown off course in this world. Time can be wasted, opportunities lost, and promises faded away. What style do you use to fight and face those inner demons, that inner push and pressure? Are you so grounded, secure, and confident you just flow through your day, or do you doubt, self-analyze, and dwell on what could have been if I did that, or asked her out, or left that person on this date when I was that old? Have to focus on the NOW and what works for you, and if it doesn't feel right then create a way to make it RIGHT. I feel a lot of pressure on me. Learned and was preached to this past weekend that I have to be gentle wityh myself. Is playing catch up with y'all being gentle...I am on the back stretch heading down, finish line in sight, with a little humid sweat around, have to pee, and with an overstuffed binged belly filled with carob covered almonds, rice & garbanzo beans with greens and grains all over topped off with tea+orange juice (not an Arnold Parmer) any names anyone? The point is my friends there has to be a way  for us to ease the pain, to tone down that surrounding buzz, and just be with pure focus and mite. I have beautiful days doing my thing, and then there are down days of not facing anything. Who says the down days are bad, but one shouldn't have to experience the guilt that is involved with DOING nothing. In my case I have this huge huge OPPORTUNITY POT to tap into. Enormous amounts of potential gifts to be opened up and celebrated. What I desire to do is to organize all what I see and visualize, and manifest all that CAN and WILL become of my soul. I have to start ASKING for help, guidance, and supervision. That is what I DO NOT have is supervision. With my ADD mind, and my way of doing business I desire someone to be my drill sergeant and get in my face respectfully and as my nephew said last Tuesday, "WAKE UP..." I am way overdue and have to start DOING, finish some things, and create a space where I feel wonderful about myself and my actions. I have made progress of letting go and feeling freely at peace with yoga,meditation, being in front of the sea, at a sports contest or watching one, visualizing what lies ahead, but I have to make a move, fold my cards or re-shuffle the deck, and just GROW UP! Deep breaths and cool spring water can only go so far. Taking trips and getting massages/facials are just temporary fulfillment, how/what/where/when/with whom WILL I DO to turn this pressure I put on myself from a draining element in my life into a motivation to finally get off my ass and LIVE MY LIFE how I SHOULD LIVE IT....get things out in the open, write things down, believe in your actions, and battle out there. There is a WAY for ME, for THEM  and a WAY for US and I. Really have to put in the time to break free and rid all that is bundled up, eating you from the inside, and let loose ALL that is ALL OF YOU. rvb