UNDER PRESSURE: DAY FORTY TWO WHAT IS YOUR PURPOSE?

Ever since I discovered the importance of being proactive and getting to the cause root of all that IS (w/the gudiance of practicing Kabbalah) I have come to realize that much of my stress and frustration is due to the constant/consistent expectations/guilt and pressure I put upon myself. I have a very repetitive inner-dialogue that goes in circles where somedays I have the energy to slow down, and others days just put it off for TOMORROW. A lot of this time I spend feeling BLUE with my ongoing non-action/undecisive way of life where I find myself lost, running away from my fears, and wasting days on things that just bring me down, drain my energy, and deprive the world of my vast potential. This past year with Maum Meditation and my yoga practice, I have developed a stronger peace of mind that is calm, focused, and completely aware of the urgency in my life to get my act on course. What is different from before when I felt this immediate desire to take hold of my life, is that I am more open, full of Light and with a determined strength that I completely believe in. I have to put a lot of the things that I started and did not finish behind me, and focus on the steps of what I want to accomplish, and not just go out there with a vision with no organization/follow through. I keep continuing bringing up my poor skills of following through and creating results. That WILL STOP since its a must for my success. There is a WAY FOR ME to reach my potential NO DOUBT, what exactly is that WAY. What road/path will I choose? Will that choice be the right one? Should I just leave it up to the Light\God\Spirit to guide me to paradise? There is so much I can do, give, believe in, and accomplish. I am filled with enormous gifts that WILL make a global impact. Is that too much pressure to put on myself having a clear magical beautiful vision where I will celebrate my passions by sharing them with others, while allowing them to discover there own. I believe I truly have to prioritize, plan, and use that plan to make a life for myself. Years have gone by as ideas have stayed idle; films, tv shows, books, projects....where do I begin? Deep down I desire a good reliable quality successful loyal mentor that is a billionaire that can stand by my side, feel/fuel my vision, and make a difference out there. How do you deal with your self pressure? What tactics do you take to face it and make the best of it? I feel pressured by my lack of asking questions as time builds up in me not speaking up, and opportunities passing by. I have to overcome these discomforted times and just reach out. There has been way too many times in my life where I stay quiet and just pass time. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO NNNNNNNNNNNNNNOOOOOO please please please. Cant do this anymore. No mas por favore.....When I feel to say something and desire an answer I got to take a stand. Today I let one go by here down in Texas as I am here for my Vision Quest and have to get some answers concerning getting permission/discussing if I can film down here and share my experience within my film. Hours/days/opportunities of great footage has passed me by and I always come up with an excuse, "Oh I can do it that way, and get footage there, or do it this way..." as wonderful shots/images disappear. This is a year for being strong and following my intuition of things I believeare right for this project. Please reach out and provide feedback/encouragement and tell me how you are feeling, how you overcome your inner dialogue, making sure you are rewarded with ALL that you desire. I am excited and very grateful today. Full of wonderful loving inspired energy that keeps me going. Just have to continue this way of celebrating, speak up, and take the action I feel will benefit all that I want to do in my life. RVB