THE STEP WORLD: DAY FIFTY TWO WHAT IS YOUR PURPOSE?

There are positive and of course negative aspects of growing up never remembering a day in my life where my parents were together. My papa has this Nikon camera that was an integral part of my life since it was through his lens and his love to share, where he most of his photos developed into SLIDES. Through these slides I was given the gift of laughter and presentation of my early early childhood. That chocolate cake first birthday, my mamas gorgeous full straight brown hair, and family gatherings with fun clothes and smiles. When I was close to two years old though those SLIDES were all I have to remember what a family is all about. I envy big loving joyous open free families that thrive and strive to continue wonderful longtime legacies of tradition. Not that both sides of my Dutch-Irish family have long immigrating memories, its just that my immediate family was broken down years ago and is what I was dealt with moving forward. When you are a child of divorce a battlefield is created, and its i really up to the children to understand what lies ahead within its force. Also its' up to the parents actions to truly form its boundaries. Even at a young young age I did my best to play fair, have an even playing field, and really investigate the truth from both sides. I have established close relationships with my parents, but wouldn't say we are so so so deep and connected. I adore and love with ALL of me my papa and ma. They would surely voice the same about me. It is just that they come from families where there was a pretty shallowness means of communication, and a generation that doesn't enjoy conflict, and takes things pretty personally. Due to this I desire improvement on the grounds of relations with my folks, questions have to be asked, digging has to be done (not exactly about past issues) to develop a more openly sharing relationship that can motivate and inspire to DO MORE. There is a lot of repetition in how we interact, but through things I have faced in my recent life, I see there is slow progress. The result of divorce then leads to the name I just created THE STEP WORLD.....other men and woman brought into the daily home and lives throughout the years. I always say my mama married work-a-holics, men that did not have her on the top of their priority list, and my papa just married a lady that desired more that he wanted to compromise (simply/nicely put). Each parent always made sure at least in my eyes and world, that they brought in individuals that were passionate and willing to share/give themselves to the family. There was the gentle Lativian, competitive Lawyer, and now the Hospitality Man...all that I bond with, all that I love, and all that I have gracious thanks for being in my life. Not all perfect, not all true, but at least sacrificed for the sake of me to give me hope and LOVE. My step-mom was sweet, smiley, but very young and new being a motherly figure. She was thrown into a mix of mixed up kids in a mixed up custody battle. DAD v. MOM in the ring with the step parents in their corners to support and make the parents look like they are fit enough to raise the child with them in their home. I bonded well with all my step-parents. I have 3 step-Dads and 1 step-Mom. They put up with my issues, my mouth, my mind, and my maturity. I put myself in their shoes and applaud their patience, their support, their understanding, and courage. Once a step-parent always a step-parent. I always mention I have been a part of 4 divorces....and I surely suffered the pain and anguish of each one of them no matter how old I was. Witnessing defeat, failure, and pain in the eyes and souls of those I love, really hurts. Tossing and turning, packing and pushing, straying and sleeping on the way. Every other weekend parenting, meeting half way, storming off good byes, and ruining holidays due to the desire of confusing attention really puts a toll on any soul, let alone a Tough skinned toddler. Boy on the Mountain, Boy Cuddled Up Inside. Wouldn't be here without those challenging times overcoming all that was put on my plate. Hungry to let go of all that bottled up angry. I hit the ball fields, got on my bike, became local and state champ, now run, meditate, practice yoga, walk the RedRoad, and share with y'all. Have respect or at least be open to those that your parents bring into your life, who ever they maybe. We should all give people chances, hear them out, have a meal with them, smile & laugh, then can make decision upon character and actions. Don't be too cruel or put much time and energy into the process. Through your time you should know or at least have someone to turn to make you realize the real Truth. Keep sharing your joy!- RVB